Off Again
. 
. August 2019 August 2025
in our driveway, leaving for college at a rest stop, Ohio sign in the background
My oldest kid is back from Vienna, Austria, and after 3 weeks of regrouping at home, she's moving to Chicago. Today. We made the drive yesterday (6:00 am departure abandoned after a friend arrived the night before and they decide - at 9:00 pm - to make vision boards - ah, youth!). But we were on the road at 9:30, bike securely on top, chai tea in our travel mugs, splitting a breakfast sandwich from a local shop and brainstorming synonyms for "skills" as she worked on a cover letter while I drove. Chicago is familiar - we lived here until she was 12 - but it's a different vibe when you're 24, stepping out into this next phase.
My husband and I wanted to raise our kids to be big adventurers in the world. They've each been to way more countries than I have and feel comfortable figuring stuff out, shaking off the stress, looking for the path. We have a saying adopted from the cue their kindergarten teacher used to say when the students gathered at the classroom rug. Miss Hayward would gentle tap her shoulder and encourage them to sit "tall and proud". We swiped that phrase and repeat it to each other, pretty regularly. Sometimes in jest, sometimes as a loving reminder that we can, in fact, do hard things, and sometimes to notice that yes, friend, there you are, moving tall and proud through the world. I see you.
So there she goes. Living with good humans in a city she knows well. Committed to finding a job. Cabinets piled high with Trader Joe's snacks, courtesy of her mom wanting to show her love through pasta and sauce supplies. We're very close to having a mattress frame, but no matter what, she's sleeping in this new apartment tonight and I'm getting back to Cleveland, empty-nesting 2.0. Ready to hug the dog, wait for my husband to return from his adventure in Alaska (tall & proud, right?!?), and commit to making sure I'm moving through the world with the same confidence, energy and sense of adventure I wish for my kids.
Congrats to you and your daughter on your new adventures! You have such a cozy way of writing that feels like a warm hug. Thank you for sharing this piece!!! And I'll keep in mind to sit "tall and proud" on my own next adventure!
ReplyDeleteYes to some warm hug writing to counter-balance the ranting I sometimes do on Tuesdays :)
DeleteI know Miss Hayward would love knowing that "tall & proud" is spreading (to adults!!!), decades after she shared it with us.
Starting a new adventure is always so exciting because it holds so many possibilities. Good luck to your daughter. arjeha
ReplyDeleteThank you, Arjeha :) Here's to possibility in the world!
DeleteI don't know whose life changes more -- the kids who leave home or the parents who stay behind. When you love much, it is always hard to say good-bye, even for a short time. I comfort myself with that idea . . . the price of having great love is ache of missing during seasons of separation, and that makes me grateful and that gives me joy.
ReplyDeleteYes - the ache is such a good, proud, "she's got this" ache, even as it tugs at my heart. And she is so ready to be out in the world. Thanks for these helpful words.
DeleteThe person who posted at 4:29 said it so well: "the price of having great love is ache of missing during seasons of separation." Between us Greg and I have 5 kids, and only one lives locally. The rest are between 8 car hours and one day spent on planes.... I wish your daughter the best as she enters this exciting phase!
ReplyDeleteRight, Linda - the ache is real! Thank you for the good energy for her, and here's to riding on planes, trains and automobiles as we visit our far-flung kiddos!
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