What brings me joy?

I missed quite a few days of writing while visiting my parents and organizing a press conference to fight anti-honesty laws in Ohio (see more about that here, if you're interested :)

I'm going to move away from list-making (my "cheating" way to Slice when tired!) to share the joy of this connecting time with my parents.

My parents got married when they were young. We all can repeat the story of my dad being engaged to someone else (well, engaged in HER mind, but not my dad's) and meeting my mom (only a recent Cleveland high school graduate to his sophisticated Washington DC college student) and the two of them falling in love. My dad was ROTC in college, and this being 1964, he was facing a stint in Vietnam. They married in March (my mom dropped out of college), I came along in January the following year, and along the way, my dad became an Air Force pilot, then went to fly reconnaissance missions, based in Thailand and flying over the war, taking pictures and feeling the stress and heartache of being away from his young family.

I often am grateful I did not marry the person I was "in love" with when I was 20... or 24 (with so much respect for the passion and energy and DRAMA of young love!). So it often, still, surprises me that my parents have sustained their love (I'm certain, with many bumps, including those created by their three children) over these 55+ years.

Their love is so big, so strong, that it serves as a foundation for our family, and they share that love in many ways - not just in "I love you's" but through their actions. While we were together last week, I was brought steaming cups of coffee made just how I like it (lots of milk & sugar so it doesn't taste like coffee!); tucked in, with TLC like kisses, nighttime prayers, and gentle reminders to get off my phone; deep questions about my work and volunteering with careful listening and follow-ups; a note tucked in my lunch for the plane (yes - my parents partnered up and made me a lunch for the plane). These "little things" remind me that the little things matter. Paying attention to someone's likes and dislikes; creating comfort and peace of mind to relax; being present for them; telling them I LOVE YOU.

As my parents get older and my close friends start to the experience the sickness, caregiving and even loss of their parents, I'm feeling more grateful than ever for my parents - their presence and love in my life. My mother hands me a cup of coffee with a graham cracker balanced on top as I sit on a Zoom call. When it hits noon, when the call should be over, my dad walks by and taps his wrist - a soft "time to get off" reminder. I wrap up the call with early learning colleagues with action items, and my mom compliments me, saying "You kept everyone so organized and focused when you ended that call - what a gift you have." I push my computer screen down, and say thank you the best way I can - turning off work and getting outside on a walk with them, holding both their hands as we admire the mountains looming around us. Deeply connected and deeply loved. 

The post-it note from my lunch: