Is anyone else taking part in Elena Aguilar's (free?) "Feel Better" program? It starts next week, but there was a "getting ready" email this morning.
The push was to lean in to naming your feelings - a perfect Slice.
So after sitting in silence for just a few minutes, just looking out the window (Elena's idea), here is what's bubbling up for me.
I am outraged at the hate in our world. I carry it with me, and while it is fuel for much of my antiracism work, outrage/anger is a big emotion that sits on my chest and can make it hard to be present in small moments; to slow down and listen/learn; to be joy-full. Naming it here makes me feel vulnerable... why can't I lead with gratitude for my vaccines, this warm spring morning, my amazing family? When I still my head and breathe deeply, this outrage is what bubbles up for me first. So I am sitting with it. Naming it here.
I am holding on to the conflict I feel about this anger being fuel, that propels me to engage. To learn. To be a joiner and organizer, to strive to engage others, too - in my community, our schools, my place of worship, and in my coaching and teacher development work, as well.
And it's also hard to let in light and love when my fists are so tight. To be still when my to-do list looms. To re-fuel. (I love that Slicing in March requires a certain amount of being still.) To be still, and take in all that comes from being still... making room for other emotions that could also be generative.
This feeling better work will not be easy for me, but I'm committing myself to trying it. I have a trusted guide in Elena's voice and coaching. I have Slicing to help me process through writing. And I have a deep sense that I need other, richer fuel besides anger to sustain me.
And start right here, with what I feel.