I love listening to holiday music, but our family created a rule (that I did not vote for!) that we can't listen to it until after Thanksgiving. I'm a music-oriented person, so the December canon (everything from Vince Guaraldi to yes, Mariah Carey, with some Michael Bublé, Take Six and favorite hymns thrown in there, too) helps warm me up for the holiday - ramps up my social battery a bit; makes me want to clean-up so we can add decorations (we don't really overdo it, but it does mean moving my book stacks); cues my shopping vibe so kids' stockings get filled. I occasionally cheat and play the local "all holiday music" radio station early than that mandated Friday, but I get the bigger kick out of tricking my family by casually slipping it on and seeing how long it takes 'til they realize we're listening to the Nutcracker.
This year has been different.
I found myself saturated by the sugary overload at some point last week and shifting toward Windham Hill (except for Carol of the Bells - sorry if that's your jam!); John Denver; George Winston (I need to diversify this feed, for sure). Then even that playlist wasn't working for me. And I'm in the car quite a lot (the life of a consulting coach), so I started to listen to... nothing.
No radio.
No aux cord connecting me to a podcast or playlist.
Just me and my thoughts.
Me and the stillness.
Me and my breathing.
Me and my own singing voice, too, whisper singing or humming or occasionally belting out a classic where I may or may not actually know all the words.
Last week, I tried to capture those images and feelings, to bottle them up for a Slice.
Unexpected snow falling gently, but persistently - windshield wipers on, keeping a reliable beat.
Finding my eyes more carefully on the road, paying attention to the lights (less sneaking through those just-turned-reds), letting folks pull out ahead of me with a friendly wave of my hand. "Sure, sure - I bet you're trying to get to an appointment, there's room for you to join this lane here."
Actively resisting the urge to turn something on (radio, playlist, make a call) - recognizing how I'm drawn to fill the silence rather than sit in it.
Letting my shoulders relax a bit as I breathe. And breathe again. And again. Let my brain let go of the day's first 3 coaching sessions: one with tears, one with anger, one with hope and positivity. Making space for a reset of my nervous system - which I know really does love the quiet, if only I'd let it in. Meditating on my word of the year: steady.
Saying it out loud, breathing in time to it. Pushing away other ideas, tasks, lists and being in this moment. Hello snow. Hello drivers, we can share this road. Hello breath.
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We have a rule about holiday music, and just because it's time to turn up the tunes, I don't have to.
Welcome quiet. Welcome.
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this calming, meditative post. I’m sitting at the airport and as I read my shoulders lowered and I breathed along with your words. I, too, have found lately that I an too quick to fill the silences when I am alone. Yet I find such deep peace in the silence of savasana. Here’s to cultivating more silence in our lives. I know it recharges me.
"deep peace in the silence of savasana" - yes yes, Sharon. Thank you for that comparison. Safe travels to you!
DeleteSo well expressed: "I started to listen to ... nothing." I enjoy the peace of silence. In the shutting down of sensory overload, in that silence, I find that I hear.
ReplyDeleteYes - shutting down and settling down the overload. Silence is really a gift right now.
DeleteSo much to unpack here. I love all the music choices and I also relate to sharing of the stress, from work but also stress that accompanies the hoildays. Thank u for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Morna - wishing you peace (and maybe some beautiful silences) this holiday season.
DeleteI, too have the rule of no Christmas music before Thanksgiving, and it drives my students crazy since I play a lot in instrumental music while they are working independently. This year Christmas is hitting differently because my husband passed in September. I certainly don't want to listen to Christmas music on my drives, and I have noticed how much I enjoy driving in silence.
ReplyDeleteOh, Rita - I am sending so much care your way as you navigate this "blue" holiday season and tremendous comfort of silences (and time away from school, too).
DeleteLisa, you hint at the challenge so many of us face this time of year. I wonder how those who put their trees up and decorate as soon as Halloween is over keep the energy up for 2 whole months.
ReplyDeleteI hope each of us can find the right balance this holiday... the right mix of music and silences.
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