Hard Hard Day

Today was a hard day.

Onsite, intensely, with a school client - leaders I really appreciate working with, and leaning into hard, important challenges and good work.

Today's agenda:
- leading coaching sessions
- planning a crucial conversation
- facilitating two micro-learning sessions (so grateful for resources from Bright Morning Team & The Management Center for grounding them both)
- attending team meetings

But early this morning, a frantic call. A series of calls and texts, actually.

Supporting a loved one through an anxiety attack: no sleep, hard to settle into breathing, discombobulated thoughts, chest pain, dehydration.

A hard decision to abandon a trip; the hard work of asking for help.

Anxiety and panic felt tightly braided together, and I'm far away, unable to hop on a plane and support and care for them. I send a DoorDash of OJ and chicken noodle soup; touch base with the kind friend who is helping; finally get the text... they are home, in bed, trying to rest. 

I know my client would absolutely be compassionate if they knew all that was going on, but I also need to keep a certain professional distance. It's how I navigate the work, as a consultant. 

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Now, I'm back in my Airbnb. Very grateful it's not a hotel room, but a place I can move around, make a cup of tea. Should I go for a walk? Have a big cry? Prep for tomorrow's meetings? Watch a movie? Order in comfort food? I'm not sure... but I do need to hop off technology and take some breaths.

Disconnect, but with my phone nearby, ready to support.

Disconnect, but also, run through next steps to make tomorrow work.

Disconnect, but stay connected to my own feelings and needs, too.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Computer off. Heart and head connected.