I believe I've always done a post on crying as I work my way through slicing -- welcome to this year's!
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The thing is, I'm really not much of a crier. Oh, I'll cry at a movie (most recently, sobbing through the last 20 minutes of A Star Is Born, even though I knew how it was going to end) or even an especially emotional commercial. I don't often cry, though, in reaction to my own ups & downs.
However, Saturday night found me with tears sliding down my cheeks as we held a tight "family hug," my arms wrapped around my husband and 16 and 18 year old kids.
That strong surge of tear-inducing emotion hit me a bit out of the blue -- our little team of four is just months away from our daughter leaving for college (top criteria: far from home), and the moments when we're together are feeling especially precious. I lean into my daughter and tangle my fingers in her hair. I pull my son close and feel how broad his shoulders are getting. I've poured everything I can into them: years of reading aloud, singing the Beatles, dancing in the kitchen; reminding them to be nice to everyone, write down their homework, drink milk before juice; tending to their every need then slowly asking them to pay attention to not only their needs, but other's -- to expand their view and look for ways to be helpers, upstanders, caregivers in the world.
I am so proud of the young people they are, and so certain they are ready to make the world their own... yet my heart ached all the way up to my team ducts, and I couldn't blink away my emotions quickly enough. So I held them close, because they let me, and shed a few mom tears, even though they laughed a bit. Then as quickly as that cry came on, that tight hug turned to laughter, to pulling back and untangling, and they were off into the world. I swiped the tears away, grateful for love so expansive.
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The thing is, I'm really not much of a crier. Oh, I'll cry at a movie (most recently, sobbing through the last 20 minutes of A Star Is Born, even though I knew how it was going to end) or even an especially emotional commercial. I don't often cry, though, in reaction to my own ups & downs.
However, Saturday night found me with tears sliding down my cheeks as we held a tight "family hug," my arms wrapped around my husband and 16 and 18 year old kids.
That strong surge of tear-inducing emotion hit me a bit out of the blue -- our little team of four is just months away from our daughter leaving for college (top criteria: far from home), and the moments when we're together are feeling especially precious. I lean into my daughter and tangle my fingers in her hair. I pull my son close and feel how broad his shoulders are getting. I've poured everything I can into them: years of reading aloud, singing the Beatles, dancing in the kitchen; reminding them to be nice to everyone, write down their homework, drink milk before juice; tending to their every need then slowly asking them to pay attention to not only their needs, but other's -- to expand their view and look for ways to be helpers, upstanders, caregivers in the world.
I am so proud of the young people they are, and so certain they are ready to make the world their own... yet my heart ached all the way up to my team ducts, and I couldn't blink away my emotions quickly enough. So I held them close, because they let me, and shed a few mom tears, even though they laughed a bit. Then as quickly as that cry came on, that tight hug turned to laughter, to pulling back and untangling, and they were off into the world. I swiped the tears away, grateful for love so expansive.
Man, oh-man. You wrote in such a way that I wanted to tear up too! My favorite line was, "pulling back and untangling, and they were off into the world". It sounds like you've given your kiddos the two most important things in the world: roots & wings. Beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteThank you -- roots & wings -- I love that language, too.
DeleteYour post made me think how I don't cry that easily anymore. You've given so much and love them so much, how could tears not be the best response to such overwhelming connection? I like how you let us readers right in there with you.
ReplyDeleteFor those of us who don't cry often it always seems to surprise us when it floods. I am glad that there were tears and then laughter!
ReplyDelete